words

I am seeing words lately. A big plan is hatching in my head and I cannot think of anything else. I will update you as soon as I find words to say them. Meantime, it rained yesterday while I was at work - sucky!!! I was hoping to veg out today while the day rages wetfully and gray - but no such luck. The sun won. It is sunny today - and you know, I just can't sit on my ass when it is so pretty like that.
Maybe I will work on my gifts for the twins who celebrate their birthday
tomorrow. Check them wipe out the cake in this picture.

Just

Sometimes one's own words are not enough. Here, once again, I let Emily Dickinson speaks...

AFTER PAIN - Emily Dickinson.

After great pain, a formal feeling comes —

The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs —

The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,

And Yesterday, or Centuries before?

The Feet, mechanical, go round —

Of Ground, or Air, or Ought

A Wooden wayRegardless grown,

A Quartz contentment, like a stone —

This is the Hour of Lead —

Remembered, if outlived,

As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow —

First — Chill — then Stupor — then the letting go —.

Out of the Country

Darkened but still proud facade of San Agustin Church in Manila.

Only silence from this spot lately. It is because I am currently in the Philippines desperately seeking spots of beauty and awesomeness. Soon, when I finally find a wifi that works seamlessly, I will write about the"eternal sunshine of my spotty mind."

Feels Like Rain

When only pictures would do. Wordlessly sad.

Feels like crap while the rest of the world is pretty.

Dreaming of Palawan and Old Buildings

I am getting ready for my upcoming trip to the Philippines. This time I am going without the "husband." This can get really interesting. Last time I did this was in 1999. This time however, I am going for our business so it is a lot more complicated -the buying trips to strange places, the packing, the lifting, etc - it can get ugly real fast. I am completely at the mercy of my friends over there whose generosity and patience I will impose upon shamelessly.

Officially, I only have 4 days to pack and come up with an itinerary. Proscrastinating on the latter item is very unlike me because I usually approach the idea of itinerary as if I am strategizing for a war or plotting an invasion. I am hee-hawing this one out for some reason. But I really have to get going on this or risk mindless walkings at those super malls.

Places I have to go? Well, there is Palawan. I need to see the place before the foreigners and conniving developers turn it into another bastardized environment that is Boracay.

Can't wait to dip into this fantastic Palawan body of water.

I am also planning to look up sites in Manila that made it to the UNESCO World Heritage List. Want to see what the buzz is all about.

Off to packing I go.

Words

Words that made me stop and think today:

I'd be happier if I don't give a crap!

And if only one can be so damn lucky to be someone's Delilah. Here is the enviably romantic lyrics to Plain White T's Hey There Delilah:

"Hey There Delilah"
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice
it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath awayI'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of usand we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way (My most favorite lines of the song!)

Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to

Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

Hung Wins!!!!

It was suspenseful. Really. I was so nervous for Hung. I thought Dale was going to steal the win from him. Casey was really inconsenquential from her cinammon-scented scallop all the way to her burnt-out pork belly. I think she wants us to blame the altitude at the Aspen. Dale had moments of blinding brilliance. The judges showered praises on those damn Colorado lamb chops, but he also dished out spectacular mess like the curried lobster that Chef Tom called "inedible." Hung on the other hand, was in Chef Rocco's words, "the man with the plan." The judges nitpicked his dishes for want of acid here and there but that was all they could come up with. His finale dishes were worthy of the win - poetic, elegant, screaming of natural talent, finesse, and confident. And he cooked them all with his usual ease, speed, and sagacity. The boy was out to win. And he did.

His first course: Raw Hamachi - looks so yummy. Second course: prawns with tamarind sauce, vietnamese salad, coconut foam and whatever else was nitpicked by the judges but could not be complained about.

His duck was the perfection of the night. Todd English called it a 3-star Michelin meal - Hung nearly passed out when he was told that. His molten chocolate cake was derided as not imaginative or daring enough for a last course. But I thought, this guy got the balls. He believed that his 3 other courses were perfect that all he needed to do was sweeten up the judges with a desert they clearly needed and with a technique that even the judges could not find fault with. Love his mojo! In the end, superiority, consistency, and talent won. Congratulations HUNG!

On a side note: Chef Rocco di Spirito was Hung's sous chef for the finale prep. His blog is really worth reading if only to experience Hung's handiwork first hand. Chef Rocco: my eye candy for the night.

Best words came from Hung: "They tell my that my food has no soul. That feels like being run over by a truck. I have so much love, so much soul in my food." We believe you Hung.

Top Cook

I cannot wait for the Top Chef Finale tonight. I have been scouring Google to see if anyone spilled the beans on the results tonight -- the suspense is killing me. I am rooting for Hung. The dude is so arrogant and conceited, but he is so damn good. I hope he wins. Because although he is full of himself, he is still the underdog - an alpha underdog that is. Man got some mad knife skills and can cook French. He dresses nice too.

As appetizer, I got hooked into watching Aiport 77 with my mom. It was very low-tech but I was mesmerized anyway. John Lemmon was still alive in it, skinny, and has a leading lady! James Stewart was in it too - but I did not hear him speak a single word - at least in the last hour of the movie. Anyhoo, 20 minutes till Top Chef finale, and counting....

I Do It with 50 Million Other People!

I started today with a to-do list, but the day got away with me at

work. Before I knew it, 5pm came and nothing in my list was done. I did manage to start last Sunday's crosswords amidst the chaos at work. I work on crossword to calm my mind, or refocus it, or simply to stop thinking about anything too general. I hope to tackle the New York Times puzzle next which kick my ass each time - can only manage few three-letter words - despicable really! Anyway, I feel like I am the only person in the world who watched Will Shortz "Word Play" but I don't care. In it, I found that Clinton and John Stewart do the crosswords with PEN! Such sagacity! I am impressed. Apparently, there is an actual crossword competition in New York every winter and people in fact go to these things and winners have their own following! It is so geeky, but not anymore than chess, I don't think. I am thinking, if being a triathlete is quite a reach for me, considering my inability to bike or swim, then maybe crosswords competion is my niche. Hmmmm.

Of Pinay Best-Seller and Sugar-Coated Pastries

It is hard to muster any strength or inspiration to do anything else other than crash on the couch after a 12-hour workday. It was sheer miracle (or disgust that usually goes with a fat day) that made me hit the treadmill at the gym and pound 45 minute long of run/walk on it today. We could only stay an hour at the gym since it was already 9 pm and the kids were starving, so right after sweating, we went eating! Suffice to say that whatever calories I slowly burned were promptly replaced by the two masaladas I inhaled like crack. These yummy Hawaiaan but Portuguese-inspired donuts - coated in granulated sugar and clearly deep fried- took me out for the night. I am so hopeless!

To help digest the food, we went browsing at Borders Books where my attention was caught by a Filipino-sounding author's name on the bestseller's list. True enough, upon closer inspection, the woman was a Pinay. Her book Love Walked In - her first, mind you - made it to the New York's best seller lists and many bookstores' fave lists. In my subsequent research - right after coming home - I found that the book already has movie rights and no less than Sarah Jessica Parker is to star in it. Also, I found out that the book has been translated to about 7 languages - no Tagalog though -! Needless to say, I am deathly jealous!

I tried to read the first few pages of the book waiting to be completely enamored, but.... There were simply too many information even in all 6 pages of the first chapter. She managed to insert everything she knew and liked in the opening pages while describing how the girl met the guy. I was bored despite the eager prattle. I think it was just not my genre - can't read love stories. It'll probably be better in the movies, although, I heard that Nanny Diaries was tore up by the critics.

Falling for Fall

I woke up to a dreary, cloudy, cold morning today. I was happy. Fall is my season. I'll take being cold anytime. Love the scarves, sweaters, coats, boots and warm and heavy comfort food. Make my coffee drinking far more reasonable. My wish is to experience fall in New England - leaf peeping at Vermont? I don't quite know what that really entails - but I can only imagine that it'd involve looking like a Ralph Lauren commercial - not bad at all. Of course, this being the real life, I wasted the whole morning holed up in a cubicle reviewing a lonnnnnngg chart for a project. My original plan was to do some planting in our front yard - did not happen. The gray afternoon found me oblivious inside our store adding pictures to our website. Drank coffee like a fish though. In my mind however, I thought of brown and yellow leaves, wooded lanes, and other fall-like scenes.

Someone else's pictures of trees in fall as they should be.

This was actually taken in January, about 3 years ago, at Pismo Beach along Hwy 1. It was during sunset. The sand looked and felt like soft cement and the water was so calm as if hypnotized by the setting sun. I think the winter sun was imagining fall too.

Bogusy Night

Our Alaia joined her school's dance company this year and this is what her life is all about lately. To raise funds, the company sells things, throw parties, and just give kids excuse to act out their fantasies (that's what I think!). Hence, the Bogus Ball... note Alaia's attire - the result of wearing all the clothes in her closet all at once. Mel and I decided to wear black and jeans as antidote to her costume. Mel helped out with the dessert bar (as if these kids need any more sugar.) where my Betty Crocker strawberry cake was an early sell-out - whoohoo!

Alaia's same-dressed friends. The boy wore those Kapre Tsinelas and check out the b-boy doing his thing. I always worry about these people's cervical spines.


And here's Alaia doing her thing - dancing with her company.

Old Friends Always

You know how days start off quite innocently - perhaps with a starch, like these hot pan de sal we tasted at a bakery in Vallejo. It was piping hot, but otherwise not memorable. We drove down to Danville, a pretty little town in the East Bay where the downtown was so walkable but everyone was driving. We stopped by Vallejo on our way there, and we kind of OD'd on Filipino food shops, including the one where we bought the dissapointing pan de sal.

Then, we decided to hook up with old, old friends from way back when back in San Jose. We stopped by the so-wanna-be-Rodeo Drive - Santana Row in Santa Clara for last minute for visiting gift. I managed to snap a shot of the pretentious Valencia hotel right across from my favorite Anthropologie store. The palm trees were impressive.

I left Mel to take a nap in the car while I walked the sidewalks of the Row. I did not get anything. I did not even window shopped - I feel intimated when the stores are deserted and the sales staff is forced to smother you with superflous niceties. I ended up getting an Italian looking bowl for our friends - which turned out to match the rest of their dinner plates - very uncanny!

Our friends now lived in a new house sans the once ubiquitous Capo Di Monte stuff - looks so much nicer and modern, I told them. The living room felt and looked like a hotel lobby - a very chic one. We took a lot of pictures. Another old friend, upon knowing that we were there, drove to the house and joined the impromptu reunion. We marveled at each other's kids growth and talked about how old we were all getting. But as you can see from the photos - not bad looking at all. Fun and sentimental day over-all.

Losing to the Couch

I read somewhere that it is at 30's when you lose the last of your stubborn "baby fat" and actually leaned down to a svelte middle age figure. YIKES! Not happening here! Sigh.
Anyway, exercise had been such a pain lately. More and more, going to the gym after 12 hours of work (or any other excuse I can think of) is becoming quite a moral question that I'd mull over while vegging on the couch from which I'd drag myself to the dinner table to stuff my face. It is disheartening to say the least. Today, however, I forced myself to walk with Mel for 30 minutes around my neighborhood to the park although it was already quite dark and everyone else seemed to have succumbed to his or her own morality debate on the couch. I tried to drag Mel into brisk walking with me, but the sound of his espadrilles pounding against the pavement so distracted me that I was forced to stroll!
Well, we did clock in at over 30 minutes, so at least, I feel somehow productive and not totally a slob. I then wanted to do some work - like work on our store website, open the mail (mostly bills, so not particularly inspiring, or blog - which I am doing - but I am getting increasingly sleepy at only half past 10 which is uncharacteristically early for me, so I don't know what's up. I am trying to think of a photo to add to this entry but cannot think of any. Maybe, I will end this with thoughts of toned arms someday.

Fall Out Boys and Girls

I am a cold-weather kind of girl. I love cold, dappled sunlight, even gray and gloomy kind of days. Love sweaters, coats, and comfort food. I think I love the fact that cold days give me an excuse to drink coffee all day. Can hardly wait for rain to come too. That is why I get excited when September comes. On Labor Day weekend, my family greeted the 'ber month with a day trip to Pescadero where the temp would be at least 20 degrees cooler. We went down the beach to do the California thing - which is to walk, play tag with the waves, watch the crazy body boarders hurl themselves at the cold and angry waves, stare at the gulls, and lounge on the sand to eat. After the beach, we ate lunch at a Taqueria inside a gas station store, scored a shirt and a Forever 21 jacket from a Thrift Shop, browsed at a gallery that sells handpainted tiles and woven plastic gas from Madras Island, played with an old typewriter at an antique shop, and drank coffee, ate ice cream and croissant at a General Store/Bakery. We visited an 1871 light house at the end of the day and then drove home with the sunset. It was a fall kind of day.

Homage to Motherhood and Slow Time

A precious dream of a very dear friend of mine finally came true - motherhood! Her and her husband's gift is named William Tobias or Tobi for short. He has been a long time coming but now that he's here, life is never going to be the same. I got these pictures from her today and I can feel the happiness all the way across the seas.
At the same time today, Niko found an old video clip of our family Christmas back in 1999 when he was 3 and Alaia was 6. It was so precious too - they were so young! While watching it, I started thinking - how life comes at you so fast. My kids look and act a 100 times older than they were in the video, and I wonder, what happened between then and now.
All these thoughts made me want to slow down - considerably.
This post is for my friend and her new family and for us and for the spirit of slowing down and enjoying the moment. If only....

Heat and Eats

Imagine yourself cocooned under a fleece blanket outside in a 100 degree weather. It felt like that today - except it was hotter - 112 degrees more! Humid, heavy and suffocating. I am dreaming for fall to come very soon with torrential rains and 60 something degree weather. I hate summer!

I cannot wait for this kind of Monterey gray weather.

Mel came back last Sunday from the Philippines and brought back some goodies from home. So instead of doing anything aerobic - doing so being so impossible in this heat - I justifiably stayed inside with the air-condition slaving away and stuffed my face with pastillas, rice crispies - Pinoy style - and some cornik. Bliss.

The bagful of goodies.

Crunchy pinipig crispies - I ate this like candy.

The very addicting pastillas de leche - definitely candy!

And finally, the crack of all corn nuts - chichacorn!